11 October 2009

How to Get Out of Attending a Windows 7 Launch Party

If you haven’t yet experienced the most bone-chilling, jaw-dropping, blood-curdlingly scariest thing on the interwebs since Rick Rolling this Halloween, allow me to show you a genuine (I’m serious, it’s for real) Microsoft video on hosting your own Windows 7 Launch Party (please enjoy all six minutes and 15 seconds of this horror):

Okay, so now naturally you’re not even remotely interested in hosting one of these, even if you do score a free copy of Win 7 Ultimate (not that you can’t do that without hosting a party if you catch my drift and I’m sure you do). But what if some loser invites you to a Windows 7 Launch Party? You’ll need a set of sure-fire excuses to avoid becoming an outsider to even your outsider friends. Luckily, a fellow who goes by the handle “markceltic” on EhMac.ca has provided us all with a list:
  • I’ve got to work the drive-thru that night.
  • I’d love to come, but I heard there is going to be Windows there.
  • Feeling too antisocial to come to a computer party.
  • My ISP’s relay forgot to pay their modem line's phone bill, evite got delayed.
  • Found out Windows 7 not available on 5.25" floppy.
  • I’ll be over as soon as I shut down my laptop. XP still has 72 updates to go.
  • I was going to come to your party, but then I got high. I still have XP and I know why, yeah yeah, because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
  • Didn’t realize you needed to own a computer to use Windows 7.
  • I was going to come to your launch party, but then a girl called.
  • Thunderbird on Ubuntu sent your evite into the spam folder because it said, “windows 7 party.”
  • Bing gave me the wrong directions.
  • MS-BOB not compatible with Windows 7. Not interested.
  • Needs more than 640k ram, which is more than I was told I would ever need.
And my favourite excuse:
  • Sorry, my guild has a raid.

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