28 September 2005

Those Fine Republicans

Okay, let me see if I've got the complete list so far:
Tom Delay: Indicted on conspiracy charges, has to abandon leadership post. Faces up to two years in federal prison. UPDATE: Throw another indictment on the fire, this time for money laundering. Ronnie Earl has got something on this slimeball, no doubt about it.
Bill Frist: Caught bald-faced lying about his so-called "blind" stock in his family's hospital scandal. Facing an SEC investigation.
Karl Rove: under investigation for treason in the Valerie Plame affair. The rumour mill says he will be indicted (along with other high-ranking current and former White House officials) towards the end of this month.
Mike Brown: lied repeatedly under oath to Congress yesterday.
Richard Perle, architect of the Iraq war: under SEC investigation.
Jack Abramoff: Oh lordy, where to begin? How about his hiring hitmen to murder his business partner? Or his connection to Rove, his slush fund for Norquist, his ties to corrupt Congressman Randy Cunningham, his illegal bribes (in the form of Scottish golfing trips) for legislators, it just goes on and on.
David Dreier: Closeted homosexual Republican who has repeatedly voted against gays just got passed over for Majority Leader (see Tom Delay, above) for no reason other than because if Hastert had named him, the blogosphere would resume outing him. (If you're not convinced he's gay, read this transcript. Yeah, right.) At least now he knows what it's like to be discriminated against.
Mel Martinez: Busy planning the looting of the New Orleans reconstruction money (the mention is at the bottom of a longer column about ReTHUGlican practices on their own members who don't tow the party line, worth reading).
Joesph E. Schmitz: Not a big name yet, but he is the Pentagon's inspector general, and he's been charged with numerous ethics violations. For bonus points, he's the brother of Family Values champion Mary Kay Letoureau. If you think that's just an anomoly that could happen to anyone, read this background piece on this scumbag's father John.
David Safavian: Again, a name you'll hear more of as the scandal grows. Related to the Jack Abramoff scandal, he's been arrested for corruption and influence-peddling in the White House.
ADDITION: Wow, it didn't take long for another Republican to go down. Turns out just-resigned FDA head Lester Crawford is under investigation for cashing in on stock sales in ... wait for it ... pharmaceutical companies (the people he's supposed to be regulating).

What a fine, fine group of leaders we have here. Truly, this is the Christian leadership this great country deserves.

Did I miss anybody? I'm sure I must have ... if you can think of any current investigation against a Republican, please add it to comments. Hell, if you can think of any current investigation against a Democrat, let me know as well. I'd be happy to stock one party's bad apples against another's, but remember: it has to be a current investigation.

UPDATE: Hey, I found one! A Democrat currently under investigation! That's one. ONE. Of course, that's good enough for "liberal" MSNBC to run a typical "shrug, they're all corrupt" type piece that conveniently fails to mention that it's actually 12-to-1 in favour of the party in power. They make it sound like an approximately equal number of politicians from both parties are under a cloud, but that's just not so.

So, what is this scoundrel Democrat accused of, and who is he? There's no link on MSNBC's site yet, but William Jefferson, a congressional representative for Louisiana already under investigation for some unsavory Africa dealings, is apparently charged with diverting National Guard troops to help him secure his house ahead of others because, well, he's important. I don't have a good link to the whole story yet, but yes, this guy looks pretty corrupt from here (a corrupt Louisiana politician! I am shocked I tell you!). Personally, I think this is less important than the utter EVIL perpetrated by DeLay, Frist, Rumsfeld, Cunningham, Cheney, Bush, Rice, Abramoff, Brown, Chertoff, Norquist, Rove and Safavian, but it's worth firing him if any of it turns out to be true. Too bad only non-Republicans can get fired.

No comments: